You heard it here first: Roger Clemens has won the prestigious Rumsfeld Prize for Contemporary Poetry:

“Once again, Mr. Congressman, I think he misremembers the conversation that we had. Andy and I’s relationship was close enough to know that if I would have known that he had done HGH, which I now know, if he was knowingly knowing that I had taken HGH, we would have talked about the subject. He’d have come to me to ask me about the effects of it.”

(Update: And you heard it there second.)

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